Do you ever have a day, week, or even a month, when you don’t feel you’re “enough?” You’re not smart enough, pretty enough, funny enough, thick enough, skinny enough, or you don’t smile enough….If not, then God Bless!
I am not a person who has any lack in confidence. Some may confuse my level of confidence with cocky, or full of myself, but I beg to differ. I am confident in who I am and confident in my ability to do what I know I can do, yet smart enough to know what I’m not capable of doing and what needs to be outsourced. What I have learned is that it’s okay to admit both! It’s okay to take deep inhales and blow the shit out of your own horn and it’s okay to admit when you simply don’t know.
But, here is my struggle…There are days when I feel like I am not enough of anything. In those days, I am over critical of every being of me. The kicker is, I’m not comparing myself with other women. That’s too easy. I’ve long surpassed that “What does she have that I don’t have?” stage. I compare me to…me. Am I giving y’all all of me that I blessed you with on yesterday? Am I laughing as much as I did last week? Am I as funny today as I was yesterday? Am I as supportive as I used to be? Am I the best me, I can be? The problem with this kind of thinking is who exactly is the judge? Who is the one telling me that I’m not doing enough? The fact that must be faced is that I’M the judge. I’m the one comparing me to me.
So often we put these unrealistic expectations on ourselves without giving room for err. Of course we should always strive to be better than we were the day before. There is absolutely always room for improvement, but there should also be room for mistakes. Leave room for days when you give zero fucks about the way you look. Leave room for the days you don’t care to be witty, or jovial, or supportive, because truth be told, sometimes you just don’t have it in you, and that’s okay. Be confident in knowing that today, at this very moment, you are giving all you possibly can, even if you have to give an eye roll, because you’re simply not in the mood for BS, and can no longer fake it. At least it wasn’t a “fuck off”, unless it was, and that’s okay, too!
You can’t possibly be everything to everyone, but you can damn sure be everything to yourself. Choose you. Your enough is absolutely enough!