I’m a strong believer in keeping the right people around you and living in a positive and supportive space. We’ve all heard the homage, “You are the company you keep”. Oftentimes we encounter a few toxic people whether it be at work, school, casual encounters, and sometimes friendships. Toxic people are those who have betrayed you, hurt you, and/or abused your trust. Truth be told, the closer you are to someone, the higher the chances that they will hurt you. Sometimes people do things and aren’t aware that they have hurt, upset, or betrayed you, BUT take time to look at their pattern of behavior. If that person or persons continues to engage in behavior that is unbefitting to you and your relationship, then they just may be toxic.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve been praying and asking the Good Lord for a looooooottttt of everything, lately. I feel that I’m walking in my season of Jubilee! However, there is one thing that I’ve suddenly realized; where am I going to store all of this everything that I’ve been asking for (Physically, mentally, and emotionally)? God can’t put anything in place if I have old non-purposeful stuff in its place. Think about a refrigerator…it’s hard to find space for newer, yummier groceries, when the old, spoiled and rotten items are taking up space.
It’s the same with life. Remove the toxic so God can have room for the fresh. I read a quote that stated, “Until you let go of ALL the toxic people in your life, you will NEVER be able to grow into your fullest potential. Let them go so you can grow!”
So how exactly do we deal with toxic people? Let me count the ways….
Limit your interactions
Simply say “No”. Spend less time around them. Communicate with them less. When you are less responsive, they will eventually remove themselves from the equation.
Shift Your Thoughts about them
Your thoughts are powerful! “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he.” Stop spending time and energy being angry and upset with them. Instead, pray for them and wish them happiness. I know some may wonder why they should have to pray for happiness on the person who brings toxicity into their lives, but when you do, two things can happen; either the person will change (or unfortunately move on to the next person), or you won’t care anymore. Pray YOURSELF happy!
master your emotions
Toxic people know your buttons, trust me. Don’t allow your emotions to drive and/or control your actions. Don’t give them the power and lose your Power. Once you react and behave outside of yourself, you’ve lost. Keep control of your emotions and your dignity.
Don’t get in the arena with them
Mark Twain quotes, “Never argue with stupid people. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.” Stooping to their level is only given the toxic person exactly what they want. It ain’t worth it!
Learn and don’t repeat
With every experience comes a lesson, right? Ask yourself, “What have I learned”? This experience can possibly teach us how to pinpoint toxic people in the future. It can also provide you insight into what can attract you to these toxic people. When you see who the person is, believe it. Forgive them but don’t forget. When you forget, it opens you up to fall right back in the same position again.
I tend to over think EVERYTHING! I know this about myself, and I’ve accepted it. To help me gain perspective I have a crew of people that don’t mind telling me that I’m doing too much. (As I often do). Share your experience with someone that you trust that can give you a clearer perspective on the situation.
Solve and MOVE Forward
This is probably my favorite point. Focus on the solution and move forward. Don’t dwell in the relationship or the incident. The more you focus on it, the more life you give it.
Letting go of relationships can be hard, especially when you’ve invested time and emotions in them, but remember who you are here for. You have to take care of yourself and your space. Spend time and energy on people and things that give to you and not those that take from you. Protect your space and grow from your power!
….in a pretty awesome Power Suit!
Thanks for reading, Y’all!